As we drift into February I find my usual thoughts slipping in of not ‘being enough’ and feel like I’m not doing enough for my vision this year. So as ever I come back to something I’ve always struggled with, never being enough. Years of always being behind and trying to keep up have played a role.
On my journey, I’m trying to develop a stronger sense of acceptance. I’m finding more happiness now by looking to the future with open eyes, trying my best to allow life to ebb and flow. After all, we want is to be free from feelings of never being enough.
It isn’t about just having a positive mind frame or saying it over and over again, I’m sure a lot of us are fed up with the phrase ‘just be positive’ to me that never works. It has to feel genuine and different inside.
Try these six tips for being enough ‘As you are’
1. To Be present in the now as much as possible, this distracts those pesky thoughts of self-doubt, that pop into our thoughts. Meditation allows us to view our thoughts and let them pass by without attachment and by slowing down we notice more about our experiences.
2. Start thinking about your own path and list all the amazing small things and accomplishments. Ask others to they often see your progress more. Or even journal your small achievements each week, they really add up! Slowly over time, this practice helps to instil self-belief.
3. Be open to growing at your own pace. A nice way to think about growth is a flower that blooms in its own time, it needs to be nurtured and will only grow with the pace of nature. In our society of perfection and the idea of being and having everything certainly leaves you feeling like you are not enough. Remember you can slow down and appreciate the small things that are you.
4. You might be surprised what the future holds, life is always changing, flowing and ebbing. Feeling like nothing will ever change is something I’ve struggled with, but I’m living proof this is not the case. Two moments are never the same as two breaths are not. Flowing with life opens a space to having enough right now and believing the future holds new opportunities for growth.
5. Thoughts are not facts. Your own thoughts are often the enemy, we believe them as if they are a fact but thoughts aren’t stationary they pass us by, it is only when we attach meaning do they become real. Ive struggled with believing my thoughts as solid facts, but even knowing this it’s hard to practise it. Training the mind through meditation allows us to view our thoughts and let them pass by.
6. Let go of what others want and expect, you grow in your own time, with your own pace. This one is a challenge for most especially those that try to please others or need validation. It can be great to feel praise from others, but the only validation you need is yours because when others don’t see what they want or expect of you(there are plenty). Then feeling not enough is bound to happen and it can become a constant state of mind. Our worthiness is not based on what we do for others and what we have, its who we are are, the more at peace we are with ourselves the less we try and please others expectations.
My viewpoint from living with illness
learning to love the process of growing at my own pace has proven more difficult with illness, from one day to another every symptom can change, I know the feeling of failure all too well when things don’t go to plan or goals are lost. You watch others succeeding in every aspect of life it can be discouraging. and all the conflicting beliefs from others of where you should be in life can leave you feeling not enough. Remember their are little ways we can slowly change our thoughts and beliefs.