I’m excited to be back for the linkup this July, it feels like the first half of the year has flown by. I am one for looking back and seeing what I have achieved this first six months, I’m my own worst inner critic though and I’ve been demanding a lot of myself this first half of the year which fits well with the first word for this linkup, Lets get into my reflections,
Demanding was the first word that struck me, mainly because of my nature as a person. I am always on fast forward, the time is flying by and before I know it I will be 23! To me that is unbelievable, I’ve spent years not living and exploring my identity, my hopes, and dreams. I have become so demanding on myself to catch up and explore every avenue of life that is on offer, that I become obsessive and overly frustrated when I’m not meeting my own demand and everything isn’t here right NOW. At all costs to my own health and wellbeing. I believe we all demand a lot of ourselves, but when it comes to our health its seriously damaging, how many times have I pushed myself to get my never-ending lists done or demand that I have to do this now or it will all go wrong, or I’m too far behind from where I should be. For the next six months I’m demanding a slower pace and a belief I grow in my own time. After all, our demands are thoughts and we have a choice in how we react to them.
Ways I’m working with demanding thoughts,
MEDIATION, watching thoughts in meditation is a powerful way of processing what these thoughts are actually saying to you, often the thoughts that say they are a priority are there one second, and next your thinking about something else. When a demanding thought occurs listen and make a conscious choice whether to react.
CHOICE, knowing I have a choice in whether I believe the thoughts ‘thoughts are not facts, even when they say they are ‘. The more we practise meditation the easier it gets to implement this way of being.
Nourishing thoughts come to mind for this one. How many times I say things that pull me down, that noise that drowns in your head all the time criticizing your every move. I wonder what thoughts help to nourish the mind instead? After all, words are the nourishment to the soul, so what we say about our selves can become a reality. Recently I’ve been trying affirmation cards, rather than figuring out what to write and repeating them, I find this process to fake it never really feels real. With the affirmation cards, I sort of just pick one from a random deck that feels right, I allow the words to relate to an experience I’m currently feeling and look at the card if I feel I need the words.
I drew these cards last week from an oracle deck, even if you are not spiritual these cards are very uplifting, they invoke something that is deep within and its truly wonderful to just sit in a space, take this card in your hands and feel a little happiness within. Both cards really related to the difficulties I’ve been having loving myself recently especially my body. Below are the two cards I’ve picked from a deck used, I’ve written them out for you to save for future inspiration.
I’m definitely getting to the point where I can no longer tolerate the social distancing situation, I miss my boyfriend, it was our twelve months anniversary on June the 16th and spending it two meters apart outside has just really hit, my frustration and sadness is becoming intolerable. I’ve tolerated a lot longer in the house before after being bed-bound and spending months seeing and doing nothing at all, but when its that year you’ve waited for to finally have a choice to go out and explore new places, catch up with actually living my young years it certainly feels intolerable. It is also so easy to get frustrated at others for these situations and lash out, it is certainly not a good way to deal with it or there fault.
Ways to cope with intolerable thoughts and feelings
- STEP BACK, from the thoughts and feelings, Are you lashing out in frustration? Be aware of how you’re reacting to this intolerable situation, are you blaming someone else? seeing it from a narrow-minded view? Really consider what you are reacting to and why.
- ACCEPTANCE, we only move forward when we make a conscious choice to accept, maybe there is nothing right now that can change the situation, but somehow accepting can help us find a solution right now.
- DISTRACTION, distract yourself, delve into a hobby you’ve wanted to try at home, carve out time to meditate, exercise, or do yoga, relax in a hot bath. Do anything else you can focus your attention on in a good way
- COMPROMISE, Maybe there is a way to still find the situation somewhat tolerable, Ask how you can compromise with the situation?
The last month has been difficult, I haven’t felt bothered about my meditation practice and I began to wonder whether I even wanted to continue with my teacher training with breathwork. Since doing my orientation workshop I’ve become more inspired again. It is the feeling of not really moving forward and feeling in limbo, it can really knock motivation. I remember at the end of my Mindfulness for health course we were asked to write a letter to ourselves to read later on when we where feeling discouraged from practicing. Writing letters to yourself for self-encouragement is becoming a popular practice, one I am certainly wanting to implement.
Being in the house it’s easy to just sit there and watch TV and not give care while lounging all day, fortunately, I have some practice in this situation as a lot of my time is spent at home. One of those things I’ve felt a lot bothered by is my style this year, I’ve realized I stick to a lot of items that make me feel so uninspired. Last week I wore a dress I rather felt comfortable it was soft denim with an embroidered pattern, it made me feel happy inside and confident. I have definitely fallen into the trap of not being bothered to get up and dress or wearing a little makeup, even wash my hair, it feels like the old days where how I looked never bothered me at all. It is still so easy to fall into this pattern, but getting up, showering and dressing makes me feel awake and ready for the day. Somehow I still think what we look like and wear has an impact on how we feel inside, not that we should feel obliged to look a certain way but more how we feel about ourselves, what makes us feel good.